Yeah....about that...
:) What can I say? I've been consumed by life. There have been some pretty major things happening since the last time I wrote. Here's a little recap:
1. I graduated college...
Was that really 4 months ago already? Whoa... Well, this was obviously a major event in my life. I had so many mixed emotions about graduating: excitement, fear, anxiety, relief, sadness. I was so excited to see what was next and to be done with homework and tests and not be so stressed out by a relentless schedule. And let me tell you, coming home after a long day and not dealing with homework is BLISS! But the uncertainty of what was to happen after college brought fear. I also had to let go of a lot of things, which brought about great sadness.
As much as I didn't want to, I knew it was time to quietly pack my bags and say good-bye to Chi Alpha, something that God used to literally change my life. It has been hard, not being in that exciting atmosphere with hundreds of college students who are craving a move of God on their lives. It's been hard not leading my awesome small group every week, or seeing my beloved friends every Thursday. But. Seasons change. And as hard as it is, I know God used XA to bring me to this place I am now and to prepare me for what He has in store. I am so excited to follow Him into the ministry opportunities He has before me.
I also had to say good-bye to NDSU Theatre, my favorite element of my 4 years at school. I was given the most amazing opportunities to perform: something I live and breathe for. They are opportunities that come once in a lifetime. I did shows like West Side Story, Oklahoma, The Secret Garden. I performed in 3 semesters of Musical Theater Troupe. I was chosen to sing for world-renown Broadway composer Andrew Lippa. I had multiple semesters of voice lessons with an amazing teacher and was given the opportunity to better myself. I made AMAZING friends in the Theater Dept. and I miss them dearly. I say all this with a VERY humble heart. Because these opportunities made me who I am today. God blessed me with GREAT opportunities to do what I love, but most importantly with the opportunity to be His light in the theater. Without Him, these things would have meant nothing. Saying good-bye to this broke my heart. I miss it dearly.
2. I GOT ENGAGED!!
Yeah...that was kinda sorta the best event of the summer (or my 22 years of life!) I honestly could have made this entire post about how excited I am and go into all the mushy-gushy details. But I'll spare you ;) I'll put it like this: I am completely, utterly and infintely blessed. Words can't describe how thankful I am that God has placed Jordan, this amazing and indescrible man, into my life. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with him, the guy who God created specifically for me...literally my other half. I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend...and I can't wait until then.
3. Job hunting. *shudder*
Just the sound of the term "job hunting" makes me want to stick pins in my eyes. Drastic? Probably. But it was hard. Like, really hard. I'm sure anyone who is searching for a job in this economy can vouch. I put in application after application. Sent out resume after resume. And I got a whole whoppping TWO interviews. TWO. With 20+ applications out there. Doesn't that make a person feel qualified? But God was there. I remember a particular night in June when I seriously wanted to give up and the next day I got a call for my first interview. Didn't get the job. Few weeks went by...started to get really frustrated again. Got a call for another interview..which led to a second interview..which led to my current job, which I love. God's timing is always and infinitely perfect. This job came at the perfect time--any earlier and I may have been seriously stressed with moving to a new apartment/wedding planning/other commitments. It was hard. But God was there.
It's been a crazy summer. An exciting, awesome summer. And a hard, trying one. Lots of changes. Having to adjust to a new life. Learning how to let go. Clinging on to what's left. There have been trials and mountains to climb. But through it all I can't help but stop, check myself and ask...Am I praising Him through the storm?
Admist the job hunting frustrations and a few other things that occurred, I was reminded of one of my favorite chapers in the Bible that has helped me numerous times in my life. 2 Corinthians 4. Particularly verses 16-18:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly
we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being
renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory that far
outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen
but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
Don't lose heart, my friend. If you're going through a trying time...things are up and down and hard...don't lose heart. On the outside, you might be crumbling. But if you fix your eyes on Jesus and rely on Him, you will be renewed every single day. Everything you're going through now...they are small and fleeting. They will be surprassed by the glory that we will achieve through these trials if we just rely on Jesus through it all.
It's ok to get frustrated and angry. It's ok to be hurt. But don't you forget who is holding your hand through this. People will disappoint you. Jesus will not.
Don't focus so much on the trial and the hardship that is happening to you now, for those things are temporary. Focus on the days when the trials pass, and how sweet it will be to know you trusted Jesus to get you through it. Because He will.
That's all for now. I would promise that I will do better at this blogging thing...but I won't make yet another promise I apparently am really horrible at keeping ;)
So...until next time!
